


What if...Fili was a girl

by FionaRex (orphan_account)



Series: The Hobbit One Shot Series [5]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Dark Humor, F/M, Wedding Night, after BotFA, before BOTFA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 20:55:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/853954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/FionaRex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili, only son of Dis and heir of Thorin about to reach his majority, meets Fili, one of three daughters of the inn keeper and the owner of the tavern. Dwarf boy meets dwarf girl, dwarf boy falls in love with dwarf girl, dwarf boy throws dwarf girl over dwarf boy's shoulders and drags dwarf girl frolicking through the forest to meet dwarf boy's mom and uncle dwarf, and the rest, as they say, is history. Well, that's not actually how it happened but close enough anyways, right? </p><p>Also...</p><p>Wow...that's a lot of dwarfs. Speaking of which, Fili and Kili are totally unrelated in this one, if you haven't already figured that one out. Ta-Da! Enjoi Another prompt fill for Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What if...Fili was a girl

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Joblesswriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joblesswriter/gifts).



> This story is a tumblr prompt for kilithebrave AKA joblesswriter.
> 
> She asked for Fili and Kili, not related, with Fili being a lovely lass that Kili marries. This is the end result. Hope you like it. 
> 
> Also, I'm going kind of according to the book with this one in the sense that dwarves do practice archery regularly, since each of them had a bow in the book, or most. I don't remember. So yeah. Archery is not looked down on in my story among the dwarves.
> 
> http://iamsupergorge.com/home/2012/02/09/supergorge-hair-trend-the-french-braid-the-fishtail/messy-braid3/
> 
> The link is for Fili's hair in this. Since Fili is a woman in this one, that's what her hair looks like because we all know that would look friggin awesome on girl Fili. So yeah. It's cool. 
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, and if anyone who reads this story reads any of my others, you may notice a common theme which is: apparently I really like making everything three months apart. I have no idea why. I just do. So yeah. It's like an interesting little game. "Find the sentence that says three months later in it..."! Have fun guys. 
> 
> Also, this one may seem a little forced or rushed. I'm really sorry. I have had a headache all day and have eaten very little. So i hope I did it some justice. I'm really sorry if you were expecting better. Give me constructive criticism?

     After Kili had reached his majority, Thorin suggested that he look for a wife, saying that there was to be a quest soon and Kili would need to establish himself in the event of a death. This...had done very little to calm Kili's nerves after the quest had been officially announced to their own people in Ered Luin. And so, on that day, Kili had taken his bow, passed down through the Durin line, and ventured into the forest near the town. The only thing that eased his troubled mind anymore was hunting. He had little to look forward to now that his father had passed on and Thorin had taken him aside to explain the grim reality of ruling a people. There would be very little freedom for Kili. As such, he needed a wife, as well, to bring an heir into the world. There were none in Ered Luin whom he wished to associate himself with, much less give his time to. His time was far too precious these days and it would seem to him that since he had reached his majority the women folk had become that much more aggressive in showing him their promise as a potential for a wife. Even Dis had to chase them off, threatening them with the wrath of Dwalin. 

     Kili had sat himself up in a thick tree, one of the tallest, near dusk, in the forest on the outskirts of the town, prepared to shoot down some deer or a buck. The bigger the animal, the better the effect. The sun had not set yet and so there was still a healthy golden glow settled over the tree tops and the rays stretched themselves over the forest floor. Kili had his bow drawn and his arrow notched. After a long while, and the sun falling a little lower in the sky, Kili had begun to doze off when the sound of a snapping twig and some rustling leaves woke him out of his daze. He sat bolt upright and glanced down at the foot of his tree only to see someone there. 

     "Excuse me? Do you not see that I'm trying to hunt here? You're going to scare the animals away." Kili said. The person in question, leaning against the tree casually and sucking on what appeared to be a piece of straw, arms folded across the chest, spit the straw out and chuckled. It was a soft, feminine sound.

     "Well, then, sir, you shouldn't be falling asleep at the tree if you don't want your hunt to be interrupted. I imagine the sound of your body hitting the ground will do just fine to frighten the animals back into their burrows. And besides, your hunt will be worthless if you fall on that little arrow of yours." And with that, Kili found himself looking into the brightest blue eyes he had ever seen. She had a decent beard, braided and beaded on either side of her lips and when she pushed off the blue hood she wore Kili saw that she had long, thick golden hair, all bound in a wild set of braids. She looked beautiful and fierce and deadly and yet, Kili wanted nothing more than to climb down to her and steal her away to his home and never let her go. So he did. Well, he jumped down at least.

     "Who are you?" Kili asked, awestruck and completely forgetting the hunt for the moment. He placed the arrow back in his quiver and stepped back from the woman a little, seeing as he had dropped down right next to her, at an uncomfortable distance.

     "Name's Fili. My mother's the inn keeper in town, she owns The Red Keep, and my Da runs the tavern just below it. And you are Kili, heir of Thorin Oakenshield and only child of Dis. Handsome, indeed. Dwalin did not lie about you, lad." Fili said, grinning. 

     "Why would Dwalin tell you to pursue me? He and my mother have been chasing the girls off all week." Kili sighed, exasperated, and rolled his eyes.

     Dwalin did not, nor did he stop me. He said that if I wished to pursue you, I should know that you were a hunter and that you had passed up every woman in Ered Luin. So I came."

     "Why would you come all the way out here to propose a marriage to me, then?" Kili asked. Fili dropped her head and snorted.

     "Really, Kili? I came out here at my parents' bidding, actually. I could care less about marriage. Why would I do a silly thing like that. It always ends in tragedy anyways." Fili said matter-of-factly.

     "No it doesn't. It isn't always-"

     "Oh, really? Didn't your father die recently in a hunting accident? I'm surprised, really, that your mother would still let you go hunting after such a horrific incident, really. Does she know you are here?" Fili asked teasingly. Kili found himself only slightly irritated by it. 

     "How often do you say the word really?" Kili asked. Fili's eyes widened for a moment and then narrowed as she averted her gaze, biting her lip thoughtfully. And what a shame if Kili  _did_ want to just pull her face into his hands and be the one to bite those full lips instead or pull her hair, tip her head back, and attack her neck with kisses, leave  _his_ marks all over her fair skin. 

     "Ooh, yes. It's a dreadful habbit, really. Oh, sorry. I do it a lot. Anyway, my parents sent me out here to fetch you back. I'm supposed to bring you back to the tavern because your uncle was talking about some quest thing and he wanted to know if you had made a decision yet."

     "A decision?"

     "Oh, for an heir of Durin you really are an idiot. Yes, you ass, a decision. You know, have you picked a wife yet?" Fili demanded, rolling her eyes and bringing her hand up to hit Kili in the back of the head. He rubbed his head incredulously and glared at her. It then occured to him that if his uncle was so desperate for him to have a wife it would not matter who he chose.

     "You." He said with a new confidence. He took no small measure of satisfaction in the confused look on Fili's face.

     "M'sorry, what?" She asked, leaning in as if she hadn't heard clearly.

     "You. I said you."

     "Y-you can't have me, you bloody moron. You are an heir of Durin. You have to take someone  _worthy_ of the title of queen someday. You can't have me." Fili said, a defeated look on her face. Kili wondered for a moment if she actually  _wanted_ to be his bride. But he had only known her for a couple of minutes and already he was willing to wed her.

     "I still want you." Kili continued confidently.

     "Are you really that dumb? Your uncle will kill you, you bastard. You can't have me." She said angrily. 

     "Are  _you_ listening? My uncle is getting ready to go on a quest to take back Erebor where he believes the both of us will die. He's desperate for me to take a wife, make a babe, and establish an heir of my own since I'm the only one and I  _have_ to go and help him reclaim the mountain as part of my responsibility. It doesn't matter to him who it is. All that matters is that I find a woman, marry her, get her pregnant, and make sure the baby enters this world alive. That's all he cares about. So, again...I choose you." Kili beamed with pride and folder his arms over his chest, daring Fili to challenge him on this.

    "You know what? I fucking hate you right now. But fine. Whatever. You want me for your damn wife, then so be it. I'll marry your intolerable ass. Just come back to the inn with me. And do not touch me." She snapped as Kili reached to take her hand. He nodded happily, oblivious to her inconvenient irritation, and they headed for the inn.

     Trying to explain the situation to Thorin was awkard enough, with Thorin caving when he saw the hopeless idiocy of Kili's _love_ for the dwarf maiden, but the actual ceremony three months later was rowdy, raucous, and nothing like the golden, extravagant ceremony Kili had imagined his wedding day would be. Of course, Fili, being raised by an inn keeper and a tavern owner, was prepared for a day such as this, where the dwarves drank all they wanted, brawled with whomever they wanted, and threw the women over tables to be rutted like dogs. Kili pushed aside his horror for the sake of his very impatient and undignified wife, who was not putting up with everyone else's immaturity on this day. Of course, she had to chase off a few drunken dwarves looking for more and some of the little human girls looking to steal some of the gems on her gown. Fili hated wearing the gown. She hated actually acknowledging the fact that she was a woman, albeit a strong, proud, noble hearted one if not by status. And yet, Kili had chosen to marry her. She had been forced to admit to her Gran that her new husband was, indeed, an idiot. Gran just smiled, shook her head, and remarked with 'Aren't they all?'.

     The wedding night yielded nothing, however, as she refused to let Kili touch her. It wasn't that she hated him but she knew better than to refuse the line of Durin, especially when, should they succeed, Thorin Oakenshield would remember that. She simply had not necessarily _desired_ to be wed and this Durin prince, who thought he could have anything he wanted by simply demanding it, would not have her on their wedding night. However, remembering that she could not refuse a Durin for the sake of Thorin Oakenshield's wrath, she had to accept, for her parents. Really, she hated the idea of marriage. Thorin even had to approach Kili and ask him if he had bred her yet. Fili was so outraged when she overheard this that she refused Kili for another five weeks. Thorin was getting agitated to the point that she finally gave in and told Kili he could bed her now if he kept his mouth shut about it later. He promised...right after he tackled his new wife onto the bed and attacked her with kisses before she sucker punched him right back off the bed. Such was the way of dwarven wives. 

     The night Kili finally took her, the young prince-to-be exhibited a surprising amount of maturity. He waited at the edge of the bed, allowed her undress herself and he followed. He prepared her, at her request as she knew she had been short with him for an unjustifiable reason these last few weeks, and willingly submitted herself when he finally began to rut within her. He was close, as he liked the contact, and he whispered sweet things in her ear, kissing along her neck as he rolled his hips. She scratched at his back and lay her head back, breathing evenly and allowing him to set his own pace, which was difficult for her as Kili was far more pleasing than any lover she had ever had, and she'd had a few, not that she was a whore but she figured if she was ever wed she would need to know how to please her husband. 

   He captured her lips with his own and pulled at her braids. He said they were beautiful, unlike any dwarven braids he'd ever seen. She said that it was because they were, in fact, human braids. They were supposed to represent one's beliefs. He asked what she believed. She said she believed in a kind and noble heart, a willing nature, and a brave and courageous spirit. She said she believed in life, just as a particularly hard thrust sent her over the edge. Kili followed, burying his head in her shoulder and sobbing with the relief. He kissed her neck once more and pulled out, settling in close to her, wrapping his arms around her protectively. Fili wanted to push him away, wanted to tell him she was not his delicate butterfly or little flower as the human men had called her but something inside of her heart told her to leave it. Something told her to let Kili love her, to just let him have this one moment. Something told her to let him have what he could of his wife before he left on a quest he may never return from.

     When she realized she was pregnant five months later and Kili left with his uncle and their company, she wept bitterly in her room, in  _their_ room, and she placed her hand over her stomache and told her little one that he had to live, had to live for his papa.

     And when Kili lay on his blankets, the ones that Ori had made sure to pack for everyone, just out of the pouring rain, in the cold air, listening to the thunder and the far off sounds of warg packs, the only thing he had to keep him pressing forward was the soft and gentle face of his beautiful wife and the hope of their unborn child. He would have stayed to endure the arrival of their son, it had to be a boy, he just knew it, but his uncle had insisted that they needed to leave before it was too late. Fili hadn't known what he meant by 'too late' but she had kissed Kili a few dozen times before Dwalin had to pry the young dwarf prince out of her strong hands and promise her he'd return the young lad home safely and  _alive_ , most importantly. 

     After Bilbo Baggins had slain the dragon and the battle had been fought before Erebor, word had come back to Ered Luin in the form of Bofur, Bifur, and Bombur that Thorin had fallen but Kili remained in a healing sleep, something Thranduil had granted him because, somehow, he knew. He had passed the message on to Dis, Fili, and her newborn son Ulf that Kili would live and that Thorin was alive but he refused to wake yet. Dis was holding out for hope and they had been forced to stay in Ered Luin with Bofur, Bifur, and Bombur until Kili could awaken and Erebor was established. 

     This happened after a month and Dis, Fili, and little Ulf traveled to Erebor, where the armies had cleared out all the debris and helped to once again make the city habitable. Dis was taken to Thorin's room and Fili was led away to a separate chamber by an elvish soldier with the promise of seeing Kili.

     Fili, after having walked down the darkest halls she'd ever seen, had been led to a set of large, golden doors that looked as though they had seen better days. She held Ulf in one hand and pushed the doors open. They weren't too heavy. She managed to get about halfway before she slipped inside through the gap, taking in the sight around her. The room, although just recently sitting abandoned and unoccupied after the dragon's long stay, was extravagantly adorned, with white lily petals scattered about and the warm glow of candle light flickering against the shadows on the wall. White satin sashes hung from the walls and the strong smell of rosewood and jasmine filled the air. Kili, it seemed, had been busy. She held her cooing baby closer to her and brushed his dark hair from his bright blue eyes.

     "Look, little one. Do you see this? Da did this, just for us. You should be thankful you have such a wonderful father. Really, he's only the handsomest dwarf in all of Middle Earth-"

     "Again with the really? You wouldn't stop saying it the day I left." Kili appeared before her and the babe, clothed in a light robe, bandages peering out over his shoulers. Fili gasped and smiled at him, clutching Ulf closer to her. 

     "And is that...our son?" Kili asked, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head at her. His hair had grown longer and more wild, Fili would have to fix that. She nodded, her eyes full of tears, and slowly walked closer to her husband. Kili closed the distance and swooped in to capture her lips with his own, wrapping the arm that wasn't in her hair around her waist possessively. There was a moan, she wasn't sure from who, and she felt the trail of a tear on her cheek. Kili pulled away and wiped his tumbs under her eyes. She flinched at the calloused hands. He chuckled and apologized, leaning in to give her a much more chaste kiss. Glancing down at Ulf, Kili smiled proudly and took the tiny dwarfling in his arms, holding his son close to his chest. 

     "So, so this is our son? This is my heir then? H-he is ours?" Kili asked, glancing at Fili uncertainly, like he was afraid that this was all just a dream and that if he awoke he would find himself on the side of a muddy road in the rain again. It then occured to Fili that Kili had spent so long on the road without ever knowing about Ulf or even getting to hear from Fili. He had missed her face, her eyes, her beautiful smile, he missed the beard he liked to play with when she beaded it, he missed her loose braids that he could tug on and weave his fingers into, he missed her snapping at him one moment and smiling with him the next. He missed his strong, beautiful wife and the birth of their son, so tiny for a dwarfling of Durin, and he had only this night to let himself really feel it before he would be thrown into the role of Prince Kili in the morning, as Thorin was still unconsious. So Fili smiled and took Ulf back from Kili, who had a confused look on his face.

     "His name is Ulf. The humans say it means wolf in their language. He was _born_ like a wolf. Your mother was there and without her I might have killed the midwife. Let Dis keep him tonight, for on this night, dear husband, you are mine." Fili whispered, leaning in close to Kili's ear. Kili groaned softly and nodded, leaning down to kiss the top of Ulf's head and his eyes shot up to the doors just as they creaked open a little more.

     "Aah, Bofur. Would you do me a kindness and bring my beloved son here to my mother. It has just occurred to me that my Uncle Thorin has not yet seen the child." Kili said.

     "But, uh, Kili. Your uncle is not yet consious." Bofur said confused.

     "Yes, but he will be, Bofur. He will be." Kili smiled. Bofur took the child begrudgingly from Fili, he thought that Kili should at least spend the night with the son he'd never met, and left the royal couple with a bow, shutting the doors behind him with a soft thud. Fili then threw herself at her husband and Kili was all too eager to take her in his arms and guide her to the warm and lush bed, drowning in silks and soft velvets. They collapsed onto the bed and Fili gently, slowly stripped Kili's robe off of him, leaving his naked body bare to Fili's eyes. She hissed in a breath at the sight of all the smaller scars surrounding the large bandage stretching across his chest. Locking eyes with her husband, with her  _one_ , Fili leaned in and tentatively licked his bottom lip. Kili, keeping his gaze on her uncertain face, opened his mouth and shot up, shoving his tongue into her mouth and wrapping his arms around her neck and dragging her down to his level. She groaned into the kiss and placed her hands on his chest, careful to avoid the bandage, and rolled her hips against his, seated on his lap. Kili moaned back and moved his hands to strip off her clothes, as well. 

     When they were both naked and Fili was straddling Kili's lap, he reached a hand down to fondle her, searching for her entrance. She gasped and arched her back as his fingers brushed against her most delicate areas. When he had found her opening, he softly pushed the tips of his fingers inside, jsut barely probing around at first. She gasped and tilted her head, smiling down at her husband. Kili grinned up at her, loving the way her hair was so wild in loose braids, her eyes filled with fire of life, even the way her tongue poked out just to lick her lips. She threw her head back and grunted when Kili shoved his fingers in hard and placed her hands on his shoulders, bracing herself.

     By the time she had been prepared, Kili had been even more careful with it than he was the first time, they wer both panting and just looking for a quick release. Kili sat up, back against the headboard, Fili in his lap, and he brought her down, hands on her hips, as she moved atop him, seeking the burn for all she was worth. Kili lay his head against her chest and wrapped his lips around her right nipple, sucking and nibbling as he thrust into her like it was the last time he ever would. She moaned above him and wrapped her fingers in his hair, grinding down on him, and tightened herself around him. 

     With the hand he didn't have on her waist, Kili reached up and pinched the nipple he wasn't sucking, massaging her breast and groaning as he felt her tighten. He could feel a familiar heat up his spine and he pulled his mouth off of her breast, instead beckoning her close. She leaned down, taking his lips and he prodded his tongue into mouth, snapping his hips up in one long, deep thrust that had her clenching around him and screaming into his mouth. He followed seconds after and tightened his grip on her hip as his thrusts slowed and he shuddered, slumping back against the headboard and moving his hands up Fili's back, bringing her with him. She sighed and laid her head on his chest, moving just a fraction of an inch to briefly rub her sore breast against Kili. Kili laughed and fondly smiled down at her.

     "That was worth the wait, my love. So, how did you survive while I was away?" He asked in a petulant voice. Fili scoffed and nuzzled her head further into his chest, moving her face up to nose at his shoulder.

     "Don't flatter yourself. Your mom's told me all about your devious ways,  _Prince Kili_." She said tiredly. Kili laughed warmly and pulled her closer. 

     "Ah, but my lady, what I meant to say that I did not know how  _I_ had survived while  _you_ were away." 

     "Yes, well, there will be plenty more of this as long as Dis is there to watch Ulf." She sighed again happily, leaning up just slightly to kiss along Kili's neck. Kili kissed the top of her head and breathed in her scent.

     "I can't wait to really meet him, you know. He must be such an incredible little dwarfling." Kili said, voice full of awe. Fili scoffed yet again.

     "He's a newborn, love, not a pet. And yes, you'll get to meet him. Only I had to do this...with you. I had to...feel this."

     "You were...were you afraid? That you'd lost me?" Kili asked uncertainly. He felt Fili nod a little. His heart broke just then.

     "This, coming from the dwarf woman who hated me and, at one time after our wedding night, I believe, even told me she hoped I, what was it...?"

     "I siad I hoped you fucking choked on your knife and died at the table." Fili replied, guilt just slightly evident in her voice. They both laughed and she turned her face up to his, receiving the kiss she knew he had been leaning in to give.

     "But I love you and you are my beautiful wife, and the mother of our child, and you are my one, and I will never leave you as long as I can help it. We have Erebor back and we now have a place to raise our children for our future line." Kili beamed with pride down at Fili. She smiled back.

     "Children?" She asked confused, eye brows furrowed in confusion.

     "Yeah. You didn't think I'd want just the one, did you?" Kili asked. Fili nearly cried then. She burrowed her head into his chest again and kissed the light tan skin there.

     "I fucking love you, Kili." She said, closing her eyes as her husband did the same, falling into a peaceful sleep together, their future secure. 

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you who feel that there may have been a plot hole with Thorin, let me just say this: he lives. There, done it, 'nuff said.


End file.
